Happy St. Panties...er, I mean Paddy's Day!
Happy St Patrick’s Day! A lot of people think it’s the day to celebrate drunkenness, when in fact it’s a day to celebrate the patron saint and national apostle of Ireland.
It all started with the British mistreatment of Irish Christians. St Patrick himself was a humble man filled with humility and a sense of helping as directed by God.
He was also the guy who drove all the snakes from Ireland so they could all get into politics elsewhere. I guess he didn’t drive them far enough away.
Anyway,it’s now turned into leprechauns, green beer and everyone half blasted in the Taverns all around the globe.
I had originally attributed the green to Ireland and the Shamrock, but now I realize its based on the color of people’s faces the next day at work.
If ya need help with that, don't forget Reddawg will be whoopin it up at Hudson's for St. Panties Day and handing out cold hard cash!
Just so you know, St Patrick didn’t die with a Guinness and pickled egg in his throat nor did he swim in any rivers dyed green wearing a double canned beer hat.
This is believed to be the day he died, which makes me question why we don’t celebrate the day he was born, seems a bit morbid to me and I guess that’s why we all get loaded.
Over in Ireland on this date it’s a national holiday with everything closed but the restaurants and local pubs. Are ya starting to see how this beer bash began? I thought so.
Another good reason it came over to North America is that it’s the dead of winter and people have gone a little stir crazy so why not belt a few back at he local pub and hang out with friends?
The only change to this entire day should be a holiday following St Patrick’s Day because in his honor, we all feel like we are going to die.
There are a few tips you might want to follow before you head out today, if you are to abstain from drinking, fake like you are hammered, die a little club soda green and nobody is the wiser. Say you're not drinking makes you an outcast and a party pooper.
Eat something and more than just a bowl of Mini Wheats. Fatty foods like chicken wings that are full of carbs will slow the absorption process so you can still kiss the blarney stone at last call.
Olive oil or milk are folk remedies and some say they help to coat the stomach. I’m not so sure but what the heck give it a try.
Make sure you take a multi vitamin, especially one with a B complex or milk thistle as both are good for the liver.
Don’t forget to hit Wal-Mart for the imperative green plastic hat and talking leprechaun that sits on your shoulder. It’s an icebreaker like no other! You will have the lassies eating out of your hand.
Don’t forget to get Netflix so you can watch Leprechaun 1 though 3 when you get your date home. Very scary and they will need to be held when the three-foot menace starts his drunken mayhem.
The final tip is to practice your scratchy voice on the way home in the cab because you will need it in the morning when you call the boss with your sudden illness. Don’t forget to wash the green off your lips and fingers, that’s a telltale sign you were at the pub.
Now I think you are all set to grab your sheleighleigh (what ever that is) and get set for a crazy Sunday and tip your glass to the Patron Saint. And remember, if you start to see snakes it’s time to go home because St Patrick took care of that for you already. Cheers!